Dedicated to all of my friends, American family and my future Mr. Loverboy, my fan nr 1. Thank you all for letting me know that you've read my story. Your support means a lot to me. <3
12th July 1819
Just a moment ago I wrote a poem for my lover and
best friend, yes, my husband. Also, just a moment ago I recited it to him. How
his eyes shined! Better than stars in the sky! Chest out, proud mask on his
face. You! My oxygen!
We are sitting in front of house, in the arbour,
in the garden. We are hugging, share poetry and love. Even hearts of clouds are
made for us. Even that stream is playing sweeter sounds on the harp of water.
How woodpeckers hit pines. How nice, how pink this world can be. Even my
favourite fan is lighter. I love my fan. I always take it when it is hot.
Ribbons of my hat tempt his fingers.
William is also telling me stories about yesterday
hunting. Not only a bear they caught, also five partridges, three hares, two
marmots and two ducks. Not only our neighbours will have a lot to eat, we are
obviously too. We all will be equal and satisfied. Maybe our position is higher,
but they are people too. Just like women. My little bon vivant told me once
about ancient books. Supposedly Aristotle wrote that woman cannot be a human!
If he had been alive, I would have found him and talked some sense into him.
How such a wise man could say such silly things!
More to the point, the bear, good that he did not
go alone. Maybe Mary would be an orphan in half now if mountaineers did not go
there with him. Predator stood on his feet and wanted to hit William with his
paw. Unacceptable! He is saying that those eyes he will never forget. Hunters
simply saved his life! They shot the beast at the last minute! I will tell Catherine
to bake cakes and deliver it to our village neighbours.
Water is great indeed by the way. I am taking a
sip of the second cup right now. I think I will stop taking morphine and will
heal my awful headaches in this natural way – drinking wonderful miraculous
water and rest in bed. I genuinely think that noting is needed more to a
healthy life.
I think this place may become popular also
because of it - water. Maybe very soon there will be built clinic and people
will drive billion miles just for this cause. Not only drink it we can! We can
use it to bathe just like my dear brother in the capital city. Such a pretty palace
he bought, rebuilt and it is possible to take baths there now. Water is taken
from a nearby source. He wrote in a letter recently that I should come there
more often for such baths. I have a pretty house here, money I also have so I
can build something like that here too. We all will meet not only in ballrooms,
also in the bathhouse!
And by the way, did I mention that I am a member
of the current royal family? Yes, my brother is a king. From the manor house and noble roots
to the most important golden chair in the country. Not a long ago I was the
most eligible bachelor in the county; a princess for whose heart you had to
fight and now I am a duchess next to my angel Willy. It was worth to wait. I
would never be happier with another man!
Maybe I will also tell you few words about my
friend writer. Lately I mentioned my old friends, do you remember? L'amitié
peux exister tout la vie (friendship may exist whole life). I
remember that Jane started writing her first stories then, in the finishing school.
To be honest, all of us were trying to create. Not only on the paper, also –
variations on a piano, walks with painting landscapes in the background
happened, obviously talking in different languages too. For example, I say
something in French, Juliette tried to answer in Polish. Since then, we all
perfectly speak these three languages. It is all because of our little lessons
at the end of each week. We always found nice ways to spend time together. I
remember we were impressed by Jane’s style of writing. Really, I am not
surprised that she is a successful writer now. Way to go, my old friend!
It is time to put you aside, my little diary.
Until next time!
*Night*
It was like heaven next to William in the
morning, there in the arbour, but I had to go out this evening. Alone. I
watched sunset, made a fire and now I am here writing in the light of flame.
Moon is also shining through my soul. Wind is shaking the silk of my dress. I
am a little higher in mountains. I found ruins of medieval castle and I am
writing now on
its ruins. I am also thinking about
life, about love. I see a gap and dark water at the bottom. The fall would be hurtful.
Not let me fall, God!
It was so right… And now I am in the arms of past
again. He said just one word which should not make me feel bad, but I am here
now. All these years I saw a lot, I saw some sad places. They say wait until
you grow up, but I have enough already now. I am young but I could be elder
women’s friend.
There is going to be a meeting in our house in
few days and such an one philosopher promised to be there. I think I have so
many questions, existential questions. I think I would like to talk about human
nature and shades of characters. It was 16th century when people
talked about fluids that build our bodies. When one of them is more frequent,
it decides what kind of sensibility we have. I am curious what he thinks about
this. I guess I am not only sentimental and romantic, but also melancholic. Ah
those humours! Too much black bile! Or maybe it is nothing, but illness called
love?
My dear William, what have you done to me?
Wait… Or maybe I am pregnant again? And that is
just emotions? Or elves put a spell on me?! Nope, it is too early for that… Or
maybe…?
Holy Mother! What a hand is touching me?! Ah!
That is my husband! He found me! But what kind of devil helped him to find a
way to me? I must slowly end my reflection. He has just sat next to me and is
looking at me with those big robust eyes. I see here so much sadness… We will
talk and in a minute we both will feel better, my darling. Alright, the end of
page.
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