21st August 1819
Excommunication by society is a punishment for
not holding tight on to tradition and conventions. Unfortunately, we live in
such a world where we must adjust to culture to… live. That is why every minute
and domain is put in very narrow borders. There is no other option like accepting
these models and looking for freedom in this golden cage. That is why a human
can never experience happiness. That is why love can come when you are already
married, given to another. When you are choosy, you will go to a monastery.
Weddings are conventional too. I have already thought
it through, so I do not have to repeat.
It will be better to tell you a story of my
friend who ended badly. According to her position, she married a man who was
older than her, definitely too old for her. In the end she met a young handsome
colonel and… And it ended with tragedy for her own wish. Yes. They started
meeting publicly at racings, in theatres, even at the street so she was excommunicated
by her friends, even strangers. Whole town was talking about it! Yes, even papers had a nice subject to write about. In the end they had to run from the city, even
from country.
She was a woman, and she broke rules. Women
cannot lean out! I guess it would not affect her husband if he was the main character
of this scandal. I really know something about it thanks to my experience! My
brother has already had so many mistresses… Even officers and ambassadors send
his way every better robust specimen… I have already talked about it with him
but what has he told me then? That is politics! Such a politics I do not understand,
and I do not really want to… No, thank you, I do not need it!
Does every nation have the same shapes of culture?
I will find out soon! I also need to read those different literatures… In the
end I know few languages just like every real good, behaved lady, aristocrat should!
This subject comes back to me like a nightmare dreamt
every night…
One way or another… We are leaving this beautiful
place today. I am writing down my last thoughts right now. One last look at
these mountains, one last deep beath with this clear air and it is time to go!
See you soon, my dear diary! Maybe in my way I
will be writing just like previously… But we can never know… One way or another…
Goodbye! Until next time!
The end of Mountain Chapter, vol. 1
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